haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize