sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
