This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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