I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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