im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
