he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.