you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
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Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!