i think i have herpe
just one?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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