this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
