it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
