i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Dick very happy bro
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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