Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
