you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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