My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
