At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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