Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
this boner is exhausting
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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