She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
