You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think people are normalizing furries
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
