I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
