You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
