Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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