she takes plan B like it's going out of style
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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