Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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