I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If I die, sorry about rent.