he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I cut my penus on the lid.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
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Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
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I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK