It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Randomize
