U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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