What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
