I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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