that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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