She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
