He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
