Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
