great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
