You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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