i already hear my dad disowning me
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
