Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
