There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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