so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
