he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
