her vagine was all disorganized.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
