I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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