heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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