Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
of course. lets lasso hookers.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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