And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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