i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
