That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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