all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
