What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
