Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
These tits shall not be calmed
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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