I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
