May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
