I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
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