he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
