Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
