i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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