Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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