I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
