So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
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It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
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you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just want nice things and good sex
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize