No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
