you would pick up someone in the library
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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