My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Im just a social blackout drinker.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize