They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
