just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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