We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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